the groundhogs have it easy...

i totally had a story to tell but i didn't write it down and i took too long to get on the computer today so the moral of the story is: DO IT NOW!!


i have many many rants going on in my head lately. it is february you know. that cozy time of year when i lose myself in myself. this is when i tend to be sad a lot and not really want to do much of anything or talk to much of anybody. this all came to my attention about 4 years ago. technically, it's called seasonal affective disorder. i don't really think i have the actual illness, but it sounds fancy. i'm really trying very hard to not slip into it this year. and thanks to global warming, this winter hasn't really been like winter at all. that is making it easy to stay chrissy. i also have d, who listened to me cry and cry last night and even encouraged me to cry some more... to get it out. mike asked me yesterday how i deal so well with what i do at work, what i see and what i hear, actually having a face to put with a horrible story. i guess this is how i deal... if it didn't affect me, i would have to be a robot. but if it gets to me too often, then i can't be of any help to these kids. it has to seem like it doesn't affect me so they don't feel like freaks. so every february, i lose some of the wall. and in doing that, my own life starts to get to me too.

so... that's what's going on. i'll be fine. i'm actually feeling great today.