all i wanted to do was help. help her have a safe place to live where her things would still be there when she woke up, help her get a job, help her with whatever. in doing that, though, she said that i've made her uncomfortable. she told me that i make all of these "jokes" about her to d when she's right in the room. she's sick of the one about her being our "charity case". she spends all day in her room because of me. huh, we thought she was in there studying...

HOW IS SOMEONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF IT?!?!?!?!

she thinks there is another level to things we do and things we say. there isn't. it hurts. i wish there was a different word i could use, but there's not. i'm very hurt. i'm hurt that she knows us so well and that we have been nothing but honest with her and done what we can for her and she still believes that there's hidden meanings. she sees us like she sees everyone else. and it hurts. a lot.

it's not going to be easy to let her go.

we are the champions (queen)

oh my god the pee pictures are awesome!!!!!! you can see the whole sign, d, and the stream of pee... and where he's watering the sign!! just awesome.

tomorrow is the spice party. yummy. just a bit more cleaning to do. kitchen - done, bathroom - mostly done, our room (aka the coat room) - still a disaster, but not hard to reassemble, living room (aka party central) - not too shabby. so, wish me luck.

norma turned 60 yesterday, and is recovering from surgery... we brought her some birthday cake ice cream from the marble slab creamery. ice cream helps healing, along with laughter.

cam had his operation yesterday and is back home, but in a lot of pain. maybe he needs some ice cream too.

eating healthy is hard... i don't think i'm doing very well. i'm trying but... i need to try harder. nuf said.

ps. i've been listening to matthew good... i love him.

mr. good

take the long way home (bloodhound gang)

details of our road trip:

- scott is fine (he has a girlfriend!!)
- bobby and allison are also fine
- i love calgary
- medicine hat is beautiful
- swirls has delicious ice cream
- the new curtains in our kitchen look awesome (thanx allie!)
- and the nickelback thing

so... we had a wicked time this past weekend. no pics to post though... still needing a digital camera. i love to visit, especially when the people you are visiting make you feel right at home, which they did!! thanx guys... we'll be coming back again!!

d's guitar is being delivered today, between noon and 2pm. i was going to surprise him with it, but i can't keep anything from that guy. it's like he's a super hero with some kind of "tell me everything you know" aura. i hate it. it makes it so hard to surprise him. arg.

countdown to the spice party... only 3 more days. i guess i should start cleaning this bitch of an apartment. i bought a mop the other day too... so no more scrubbing cinderella style for me. yay!!

sabotage! (beastie boys)

ok, so it's not really sabotage... but you have to admit, it looked like it. what am i talking about? well, on our way back to edmonton yesterday, we happened to go by the town of hanna, where the sign read "home of nickelback". saying that we don't really care for nickelback is a ginormous understatement and so we showed our dislike in a very obvious way...

i took a picture of d peeing on the sign.

where does the sabotage come in? when i got the pictures back from save-on, the pee pictures weren't there... but i could see them on the negatives!!! it turns out that the machine they use thought they were too dark to print so i have to take them to a more "sophisticated" developing place. i'll let ya know how they turn out.

she's got a new disguise (matthew good band)

so, apparently mon oncle thinks that a little bit o' illness can keep us away... oh, not so!! we's still goin' and dat's dat. yup yup.

j's been extra excellent these days. studying and coloring... it's awesome to see.

nothing else really going on right now... fixed some car probs before our road trip... kinda poor (again)... still heading south on saturday...

oh yeah!! discovered a kickass new radio station earlier this week. SONIC 102.9. it is like totally rad, man. check it out. i love it. haven't listened to a cd since i found it.

holiday (madonna, green day - both great)

road trip!!!! i am so very excited!! on saturday we are going to calgary for to visit scott and then we are going to head to medicine hat to visit mon oncle and his wifey. i think we are the only ones who haven't visited them yet, so i figure it's about time. yay, road trip!!!

so, since i'm in on "the secret project", i've been coming up with some ideas: a glow-in-the-dark party, mexican fiesta for cinco de mayo, writing to pen pals, putting together a puppet show... many more like that. sound fun? let me know if you have any suggestions. *appropriate suggestions, guys. we are talking about minors here!!!

my family is going to florida in july for a big family vacation. we can't go, $$$-wise and plus we're going to nova scotia in august. but i really don't like missing out on things. and i have so much fun with my family!! it's kinda sick, really, how great we all get along. i love it!! yay yay yay!! sick sick sick!! so there's my pouting for the day!!


auntie allie (the wifey of mon oncle)

what i got (sublime)

so, uh, yup. we got the funding. but there's "agency protocol" that has to be followed, meaning that the job has to be posted internally and i have to apply for it. so i just finished fixing up my resume and writing a cover letter. my mom said it's great. but she's my mom. i think she thinks that everything i do is great. i love my mom.

more financial trouble. should be resolved soon-ish. day 6 for the gym. it's going great. i have my official physical consultation tomorrow. eek. oh well. i'm very prepared to hear what they have to say.

d's at bartending class right now. he forgot his ring on the way there and made me drive back home to get it. he said he likes being married. i asked if it was because it's sounds so unbeliveable. he said that's partly why, but he likes being married to me. whether he was being cheezy or not, i don't care. it made me smile.

dancing through sunday (a.f.i.)

that list of things we were doing this week that i posted the other day... missions accomplished (except we didn't make it to calgary to find scott). the commie was packed so we stayed for like 3 songs for king muskafa. but maybe tomorrow we'll try again. punk rock bingo was SO fun!! we're gonna try for every week. the prizes were very cool.

today is day 4 for the gym. pretty damn good, if you ask me. i pigged out last nite though. we had cam and mel over for dinner and a movie. dinner was good (bbq chicken, salad and potatoes). i think d has taken over the title of "bbq man".

i got some good news yesterday, well mostly good. don't want to say what it is just yet, just in case it doesn't pan out. superstition and all, you know.

i want to have an herb garden. i want our bedroom to be black and red. i want to be hot for the summer. i want d to become a kick ass bartender. i want j to like who she is. i want mike to have a baby girl.



meet skulks!!

prime time deliverance (matthew good band)

so, tuesday wasn't the day. as it turns out, wednesday was the day. since then, i've been at the gym every day. and i feel great. i don't know if it's a psychological thing or what, but i actually have more energy, i'm breathing better, and... i don't know. stuff's just good.

topic switch!! we are getting rid of cable tomorrow. yay!! we haven't watched it like at all for about a month. it's an expense we don't need so it's "see ya later, sucker" to tv. again, we shall be free.



d says my eyes are always this open